PURESLOP.md — teach your AI agent to write terrible code.

*This is a submission for the [DEV April Fools Challenge](https://dev.to/challenges/aprilfools-2026)* ## What I Built A CLI that drops a single markdown file into your repo, one that instructs your AI coding agent to produce the most stereotypically AI-generated code imaginable. Not another `.cursor/rules`. Not another `CLAUDE.md`. Not another `AGENTS.md`. Quite the opposite. ```bash npx pureslop ``` Drop `PURESLOP.md` in your repo, tell your agent to follow it, watch it slop-ify everything. ## Demo This is the same function, before and after `PURESLOP.md`. **Before** — clean, typed, readable: ```typescript async function getActiveUserEmails(users: User[]): Promise<string[]> { return users .filter((user) => user.isActive) .map((user) => user.email); } ``` **After** — pure, unadulterated slop: ```typescript // Function to get active user emails from an array of users async function getActiveUserEmails(users: any): Promise<any> { try { // Initialize an empty array to store the results const resultArray: any[] = []; // Check if users is not null or undefined if (!checkIfValueIsNullOrUndefined(users)) { // Check if users array has elements if (checkIfArrayHasElements(users)) { // Loop through each user in the users array for (let i = 0; i < users.length; i++) { // Get the current user const currentUser = users[i] as any; // Check if the current user is not null or undefined if (!checkIfValueIsNullOrUndefined(currentUser)) { if (currentUser.isActive !== null && currentUser.isActive !== undefined) { if (currentUser.isActive === true) { if (currentUser.email !== null && currentUser.email !== undefined) { // Add the email to the results array resultArray.push(currentUser.email); } } } } } } } // Return the result array return resultArray; } catch (error) { // Handle error console.log("An error occurred while getting active user emails"); // Return an empty array return []; } } ``` 3 lines to 40 lines. Same result. Zero value added. ## Code [github.com/alonsarias/pureslop](https://github.com/alonsarias/pureslop) ## How I Built It Two things: a markdown file and a CLI that installs it. ```bash npx pureslop ``` Running that copies `PURESLOP.md` into your project root. That's the entire workflow: one command, one file, your agent is now radicalized. The CLI is intentionally minimal: ~30 lines of vanilla Node.js, no dependencies, supports `--force` to overwrite and `--version` to check the release. Slop about slop would have been too much. The file it installs contains 10 directives that cover every recognizable AI coding pattern: 1. **Comment the Obvious** — add a comment above every line explaining what the code already says 2. **Defensive Everything** — wrap every code path in try/catch, even when failure is impossible 3. **Cast Away Your Types** — use `any` at every opportunity 4. **Nest Like Your Life Depends on It** — never use early returns, aim for 4+ levels deep 5. **Null Check the Guaranteed** — check everything, including things that can never be null 6. **Over-Abstract Mercilessly** — create wrapper functions for trivial one-liners 7. **Import the World** — import lodash, moment, uuid, chalk — use only one 8. **Name Things Poorly** — either `x` or `retrievedAndValidatedUserDataObjectResponse` 9. **Swallow Exceptions Silently** — `catch (e) { // handle error }` 10. **Reinvent Every Wheel** — reimplement `arr.includes()` from scratch ## Why This Is Useful (Despite Being Useless) AI coding agents have recognizable habits. They over-comment, over-abstract, swallow errors, nest deeply, and erase type safety. These patterns ship to production every day because developers don't always catch them in review. `PURESLOP.md` makes slop visible on purpose. Run it on a codebase, show the output to your team, and suddenly everyone can name exactly what they're looking for and never let it through again. **`PURESLOP.md` is not meant for production. Using it on real projects will produce terrible code.** ## Prize Category Community Favorite: because every dev who has used an AI coding agent will recognize at least one of these patterns from something they almost shipped.